well . its is 3.00am .
ii was listeniing to the song - Purest Of Pain.
ii feel so fucked up n moodless .
ii feeel fully lifeless.
ii dont know why m ii liviing in this world =.=
ii dun hv any target.
my love life sux =.=
iim ditch by human =.=
today ii chat wif alot of ppl .
n ppls is kiinda duno wtf iim talking about .
n ppls disagree wif wat ii sya .
sometime this kiinda of small matter ii duwann even give a fuck or angry
all ii give is patiient.
but todayy all add up together .
seriously make mi moodless.
today ii study alot .
n dad is kiinda screw mi up cos ii didnt study
n say iim alwiz in front of da comp.
ask mii go to bed.
OMG euu expect mi to sleep such early on friday nite !!?!
n euu wana mi to stone on my bed which iii do ii sleep for skool =.=
duno wat wrong wif him .
normally friday nite n sat nite . he dun careeee about my bad time !
duno wat ii feeel weird now .
ii hv alot of feeeling in my heart which ii dun tell ppl .
ii keeep it inside my heart.
mayb is too much of it .
even now my love life . ii duwan to tell ppl .
mayb iim afraid =.=
maybbb HUMAN . friends. parents . family are gviing pressure.
ii feeel alone sometiime
cos ii gonna fight da war me . alone myself .
sumtiime when ii talk . ppl kiinda cut my line or dun care wat ii talk .
mayb ppl didnt realise .
but alot of ppl do it . which they dun even realisee .
but all ii felt dat tiime was is okay . ii dun care .
some prob .
today was founder day .
ii ddint wear da uniform .
actually is ii 4got .
but mandy saw mii didnt wear da pandu uniform .
one word come form her mouth .
' betray' it might mean nthg to her .
n ii oso feel ii duwan give a fuck laaa
iim not dat small gas.
but when ii think back .
it kiinda hurt in da heart.
sometiime ii feel lik ii dun hv friends.
getting far n far wif my friennds ii guesss.
noward ii stay to love beiing alone.
ii love to siting in starbuck n enjoy my hot chocolate alone.
if not ii will hang out myself alone .
serious lifeless =.=
my love life.
well ii duwan mention much.
cos it is priavateee.
but iim sadd n hurt about it .
haiihs .
everytiime ii think ii feeel lik killing myselfffffff .
sometime ii tot ii chagiing . he will wan me back
but it is NOT ! .
welll . ii rmbr my last bf he dun really care about me.
he dun even understand my feeling .
he alwiiz left mi alone . when ii was down . all ii know it alone .
so longger n longer . ii feel totally no love denn ii juz treta him invisible.
wat is this man =.= waste my time !
sometiime ii wann hv a bf despaerately.
cs ii wann cariing n love from ppl ii think .
honestly only 2 persoon make mii feel it b4 .
butt the ppl who ii love for almost few year?
some many year passes.
why iim still stuck on him.
wat he say really hurt me alot.
feeling lik alot of knifeee cutting my heart.
deep in my heart . i feel very very very pain .
somtiime ii saw my sister n his bf bryan .
jazzlyn n zrul
ii feel those sweet n cariing from dem .
sometiime ii wish to hv one bcos ii know ii cannt find cariing from frens.
serious ii m proud, glab n felt happy for my sister . jazzly n those sweet couple outside.
appreciate it n dem.
cos ii think ii dun really appreciate my love ones last time .
ii think ii make dem suffer ii guess.
now futureeee.
iim changiing alot .
iim quit smoke . clubbing .
cos ii rmbr wat soonz tell mii .
he sayy change for myself . denn ppl will appreciate.
seriously wat he tell mii give mii alot of confidence.
but denn after everythiing isssss broken n ii know about it .
ii duno why iim doiing it .
everythiing is uselesss.
ii ask myself to study hard.
bcos ii duwan dissappointed my family including those aunty n uncle.
n ii care about my ftureee.
den ii force myself
cos if euu not gonna try . eu gonna regret.
this is how ii think .
now iim lifeless.
ii duno why m ii leaviing here.
ii hv nthg .
iim a cheerful person=.=
but too much think plus together
eu get fucked up . emo . saddd . moody . !
ii duno why ii feeliing liddat .
seriouslly tell mi da MEANING OF LIVING !
ii will really appreciate it =.=
cos iiduwan why m ii live for =.=
ii feeel lik iim a bitch =.=
seriously iim sux .
ii dun really care wat ppl think about .
cos ii dun even give a fuck .
wat iim give a fuck is myself.
no more confidence ii hv now =.=
haiihssssssssssss .
ii think n i scare ii will back to normal =.=
which ii duwannn =.=
sigh is atnite .
ii feel so emo .
n my tear is dropping on keyboardd .
n this is wat ii feeel .
alo off secret is stuck in my heart .
n ii plan not to tell anyonee .
` seriously show me the meaniing of living .
if one day ii die . IF IF IF !
ii hope ii cann donate my organ to those who are needed.
n ii hope they will use my organ to live a meaningful life .
im serious
* feel beter after release out : )
